People Pleasing

What It Looks Like: Understanding People-Pleasing Behavior in Leadership

A behavioral tendency where individuals prioritize the approval of others over their own needs, boundaries, or strategic priorities. This can lead to burnout, poor decision-making, and lack of assertiveness in leadership.

Olivia, a senior leader, often prioritizes others’ needs and desires over her own, fearing that saying “no” will disappoint or upset her team. She agrees to requests even when it goes against her priorities, leading to overcommitment, lack of focus, and resentment. Her team begins to take advantage of her willingness to please, and Olivia’s own goals and leadership vision become unclear.

What if overcoming people-pleasing behavior isn’t just about saying “no,” but about how you set clear expectations and lead with assertiveness and integrity, balancing team needs with your own priorities?

After Implementing Behavioral Insights: Leading with Assertiveness and Integrity

Olivia develops the confidence to set boundaries and communicate her needs effectively without compromising her leadership integrity. She learns to say “no” when necessary, focusing on what’s best for both the team and the organization. In her next leadership meeting, Olivia sets clear expectations, making decisions that align with her strategic vision and empowering her team to take responsibility.

Business Impact: Positive Outcomes of Addressing People-Pleasing Behavior

Stronger leadership presence through assertive communication.
Increased respect and trust from the team due to clear expectations.
Enhanced team autonomy and efficiency, as everyone understands their roles and limits.

Characteristics: Key Indicators of People-Pleasing Behavior

Difficulty saying no, even when the request is unreasonable or unsustainable.
Avoiding conflict by agreeing with dominant voices rather than expressing independent thoughts.
Overcommitting to tasks at the expense of personal well-being.
Seeking constant reassurance from peers, subordinates, or senior leaders.
Hesitating to provide constructive feedback due to fear of disapproval.

Contributing Factors (Causes): Why People-Pleasing Happens

Fear of rejection or conflict.
Desire for validation and acceptance.
Cultural or organizational norms that reward agreeableness.
Past experiences where assertiveness led to negative consequences.
Imposter syndrome—feeling the need to prove worth by being overly accommodating.

Impact on Different Levels: Individual, Team, and Organization

Individual: Increased stress, decision fatigue, and lack of authenticity.
Team: Lack of diverse viewpoints, inefficiency, and blurred boundaries.
Organization: Poor leadership decisiveness, lack of accountability, culture of avoidance.

Underlying Need: Addressing the Root Causes of People-Pleasing

Belonging: Desire to be accepted and liked by peers or superiors.
Security: Avoiding confrontation to maintain harmony and job stability.
Self-worth: Equating approval with professional value.

Triggers: Situations That Encourage People-Pleasing Behavior

High-pressure situations where pleasing others feels safer than asserting opinions.
Leadership settings where consensus is valued over constructive debate.
Fear of negative performance reviews or strained workplace relationships.

Remedy & Best Practices: Promoting Assertiveness in Leadership

Train leaders to separate likability from effectiveness.
Establish healthy boundaries and reinforce that saying “no” is sometimes necessary.
Encourage a culture of constructive disagreement.
Offer assertiveness coaching to balance collaboration with decision-making.
Reward thoughtful dissent and diverse perspectives in leadership evaluations.

Business Outcomes (KPIs): Measuring the Benefits of Addressing People-Pleasing