What It Looks Like:
A leader asks a question, but then repeats it with different words, trying to soften or convince. It dilutes authority. The team feels pressured rather than trusted.
After the Behavior is Integrated:
The leader asks once—clearly, calmly. Waits. Holds the space. The question lands. The response comes with more respect.
Behavioral Impact:
- Increases clarity and gravitas: The question carries more weight and authority.
- Reduces energetic chasing: Avoids unnecessary repetition and over-explaining.
- Teaches the team to listen more fully: Encourages thoughtful and attentive responses.
Contributing Factors (Unconscious Causes):
- Fear of being ignored: Anxiety about the question not being taken seriously.
- Habitual over-explaining: A tendency to elaborate unnecessarily to ensure understanding.
- Desire to stay “likeable”: Fear of appearing too direct or authoritative.
Underlying Need:
- To feel heard and respected: Confidence that the question will be valued.
- To not be dismissed: Assurance that the team will engage with the question.
- To maintain connection without over-functioning: Trust in the team’s ability to respond effectively.
Common Triggers / Distortions:
- Delayed response from others: Interpreting silence as disengagement or resistance.
- Passive resistance: Subtle pushback from the team that creates self-doubt.
- Insecurity in delivery: Lack of confidence in how the question is phrased or perceived.
Remedy & Best Practices:
- Speak the request once, with presence: Deliver the question clearly and confidently.
- Hold silence to let it land: Allow space for the team to process and respond.
- Trust that clarity doesn’t require pressure: Confidence in the power of well-phrased communication.
Ripple Outcomes (What Changes):
- Authority increases without force: Leadership presence is felt without over-exertion.
- Team becomes more attentive: Members listen and engage more thoughtfully.
- Fewer mixed signals and rework: Clear communication reduces misunderstandings and inefficiency.
Guiding Insight:
If your words are clean, you won’t need to repeat them.
